The Son of God

I was raised in a christian home. I read all the books (with the pictures) I know most of the stories. I have seen all of the movies....all of them.
I am fully aware of all that Jesus did to save my life..........
But am I really?

The story is pretty simple and the facts are clear. Almost everyone knows it. He came as a baby, performed miracles, enraged the righteous, they kill Him, and then He goes to Heaven.
......Right?
Did I miss anything?

Yes. Yes I missed almost everything. The most important of the everything is very rarely mentioned.
The Son of God hit me like no other "Jesus" movie ever has.
There are 2 reasons for that:
1. The particular actor who plays Jesus is absolutely beautiful. So that was an incentive to watch yet another "Jesus" movie. (mas muy guapo el hijo de dios)
2. My life has gone through so many changes the last 2 years that I have started seeing things from a different point of view.

This movie wasn't a movie. This movie was the diary of My Jesus written to me about what He suffered through. We all know how He suffered right? 39 lashes, 40 is considered public embarrassment, Mel Gibson's Passion made that gruesomely clear. Crown of thorns, we've all been stuck by a rose once or twice. Spikes in His Hands and Feet, kinda like a lego, right? I am making light of this because we, as Christians, know these facts but we do not know this suffering.

I realized in this particular adaptation, unlike The Passion, it was not focused on the physical torture. This is the first movie I have ever seen where Jesus is literally portrayed as a human and not an angelic being. He had friends, they laughed, they told jokes. He had a momma. He got rocks in his sandals. He was in every sense a human being. I feel like the fact that we know He is the Son of God gives us the impression that it wasn't that bad. He knew what was coming, He's God....He'll live. Every movie I have every seen has given this impression. You know the end. He'll be fine.
Just a few more hours Jesus, you can do it buddy!

The last 2 years have been a life sucking, heart breaking, confusing and lonely time for me. I feel like I am definitely healing but things are different, I am different. I have changed. Some of it is positive and some of it is not. I have always viewed things differently, even in movies, when I realize someones heart is on the line. I cried through the Truman Show while everyone in the theatre was doubled over in laughter, I saw it from a different point of view. I have always been sensitive to that. You don't mess with someone's heart like that. You'd think I would've seen this mess coming, hahahaa oh silly girl.

Here's the breaking point. We know that Jesus tells Peter "you will deny me three times" Peter scoffs at the assumption. This movie brings out a relationship side of Jesus and His disciples that has never been touched. When this particular moment happens Jesus hugs Peter and they close in on Jesus' face and you can just feel His heart sink. Funny right? He's God. That can't be a real thing. He knew what was gonna happen "get over it and move on Jesus, you'll be home by sundown"

Although He knew His ultimate demise, He was a human. Like you, like me. This is the part we tend to brush off. He was designed like us. He cried, He laughed, He probably stubbed His toe. The most important part about Him being a human is that He had a heart and feelings. They were not supernaturally designed to deflect logic and pain. They were real just like yours, just like mine. He spent every day for 3 years with this inner circle of His. They experienced things that were unbelievable but, happening right before their eyes. Jesus, as a human, saw them for the first time with human eyes, as well. The relationship He forged with these people was incredible. These people put their lives and reputations on the line for this wandering stranger. Trust. Trust was a huge part of their relationship.
All of them. All day. Everyday. Every night. They smelled, they had obnoxious habits. But they loved and trusted each other fiercely.

Fast forward to the last supper. He knows Judas is about to sell him out for some chump change. One of His best friends. Have you ever been betrayed by a friend? I doubt the end result was your crucifixion. But, it was still devastating. Remember?

Now on to Peter. Peter straight up says to His face "not me, I will die with you"

This is the part of the movie that killed me.

Jesus is with the very high holy priests who claim they know His Father better than He does. They pose the accusation that He claims this is His kingdom. To which He replies "This is not my kingdom if it were my people would be protesting my arrest" His people? The people He spent every moment of the last 1,095 days with? Clearly not those people, those fools scattered. Those two words "my people" just think about it.
They spent all this time and had all these experiences with this man, and just abandoned Him.
What makes someone a true friend?

They cut to Jesus being led into the town. Judas just realizes what that satchel of silver got him. He runs out to a field and meets his maker.
A guard approaches Peter and asks if he is friends with Jesus. Peter says no, within earshot of Jesus. He heard him, He knew it was coming but, oh my gosh, what? The guard says "I've seen you with Him" Peter says "no it wasn't me". A bystander interjects "yes he is one of Jesus' friends" Peter now, visibly disturbed erupts and shouts "I do not know Him" with that the guard punches him and at the same time a guard punches Jesus and they both fall to the ground. The direction of the scene closes in on both their faces. Peter catches Jesus eye and realizes what he's just done. Jesus smiles a smile that only someone who truly loves you can, true heartbreak and true love come through this smile. A couple hours ago Peter was going to die with his buddy, but stuff just got real and he ain't getting clipped. Peter just broke the heart of the Son of God and he totally knew it.

Can you imagine what Jesus must have felt at that moment? He is in the most horrible situation of His life and His best friend, the one who would "die with Him" publicly ditched Him. To. His. Face.
Being stabbed in the back is one thing but having it done to your face and being able to watch it, that is a whole different level of anguish.
My point is this: Yes, Jesus knew this would happen. But, being God or not, His heart was human. These people claimed to love Him, even claimed they would die with, and for, Him and when the time came they bolted.
I love love love that my Jesus was a human. I do not love what was done to Him. I do not love that His nearest and dearest treated him with such disdain.

My Jesus was here. He was in the most inhumane of situations. He was in the most mundane of situations. Some days He was surrounded by thousands who adored Him and some days, the Son of God, felt lonely. His friends turned their backs on Him when He needed them the most. He was all and is all and became this for me, for you.
He felt the pain of loss. He felt the pain of betrayal. He knows. He knows every tear that I have cried. Someone broke His heart and He cried the same tears, He even sobbed. He knew the end but He still had to get through it, humanly, painfully, diligently.

As I am typing this I am just beside myself. He's not made of gold. He's not a statue. He's not make believe.
He is real! Absolutely, undeniably, real and He is mine!

And the best part is......He loves me. This mess. This bundle of spiraling chaotic emotions. He loves me because He's been there. You can only truly understand someone and what they are faced with when you, yourself have been there. He was there and now He is here. All day. Every day. Just like He was then, He is now. Always. This is the most important of the everything!
I love love love Him.